Satire

Man can’t believe fast food workers want fair pay, dies of starvation.

Samuel Tyler was on his way to KFC on Kent Terrace, Central Wellington when he realized the devastating truth. People were protesting for better pay therefore a better standard of life.

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He said he was “extremely disappointed” to see workers protesting and not sitting on social media complaining like the rest of us. Driving through the drive thru he says he saw the menu and thats when it really hit him. “How could people be so selfish”.

Unite union held protests all across the country with no regard for people who want to pay for a $5 snack box, which they obviously deserved.

“New Zealand use to be so different. We could go into a burger king and guarantee you could order food. Now its basically worse than Syria” says Tyler.

“The mere thought of cooking at home or going somewhere else and supporting a business that pays workers fairly was just too much, this isn’t fair”.

Tyler was visibly shaken.

“I had no choice but to post on Vic deals. I didn’t want people to go through the same pain as I did and plus I like validation from strangers”

“When did we become so PC” says straight white guy, Dylan. “It just seems like people want to work 40 hours and not still be living in poverty” he continues. “Its not fair”.

Restaurant brands press statement puts employees on blast (shots fired) saying “Well maybe you should get a better job. Its an entry level job. Something something not our fault something”.

 

 

 

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